Wednesday, January 14, 2015
But what came to me tonight was this idea about time. I felt like 2014 flew by, and I have heard other people make the same or similar comment. There is a dialogue in A Course of Love and A Course in Miracles about time. In ACIM, time is defined as a learning interval: it's the time it takes one to become aware of who they are. All life experience "in time" is engagement in lessons that are designed to bring about the awakening. Once that awakening takes place, there is no longer a need for time. In ACOL time is used to complete the transitioning from the state of separation to the state of Unity Consciousness. ACOL takes one through this transition in The Treatises and in The Dialogues.
Some of the guidance includes recognizing when one is acting, mostly from habit, from beliefs in the separation. It's called "running into your old self." I do this a lot, and it is what I am focusing on now. Like with this idea of time. I have begun to experience this dismantling of time. It's not like how I thought it was going to be. At first, it is emotionally painful and disorienting. Some depression comes with it, and I think this is because those structures that I based my life on have been deconstructed, and are no more. And I wouldn't go back, couldn't go back, and rebuild them anyway. They were all based on illusions/falsehoods.
Anyway, what I am finding disorienting is nothing but mind's response to absence of those structures. It's totally about thinking, and that is why ACOL says that all thought, as you have known it, must cease, or else...well, I will spend the rest of my days in this transitioning, and I simply cannot bear that.
So I will say it again. Tonight, while I was working on the Sessions, I received some communication: I've come too far, and I can't turn back now; and there ain't shit in that old world, that old life that I would turn back too. Nothing.