Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Verizon and the Present Moment
Instead, I prepared kale with garlic, onions and pasta. I sat myself down and quietly took my meal. When I finished, and as I took my plate to the sink, I remembered a line from A Course in Miracles, that says something like, "you are not really angry for the reasons you think. It's far deeper than this." In other words, I was simply using Verizon as a punching bag. And I had to come to terms with what I was really pissed about, and it wasn't pleasant because, as always, I was angry with my Self. Why?
Because this "living in the present moment" ain't fucking easy, and the returns on the work is just not what I expected. So what did I expect? I expected to make up my mind that I wanted to do this and for it to happen instantaneously. In other words, I wanted time suspended. Sometimes I have a hard time coming to terms with having chosen this experience, "spirit in form." Which brings me to the reason why I made the decision to stay in, and allow this experience to move through me: I want to be done with the separation. Now. I don't want it lurking around some dark corner, lying in wait to have its way with me. So, in short, I appreciate the four representatives at Verizon for holding me on the line for 57 minutes and allowing all of this to come to the surface.
57 minutes is not long at all to make progress that would have otherwise taken one hundred years. I consider that a high yield. And I can do it again. All I need do is to stay "connected."